4 drugs that should be legalized if necessary and used for brainstorming

Who else wants to be on drugs while brainstorming? Look I’m just going to say what we’re all thinking. Brainstorming doesn’t work unless everyone plays along. Why bother going through the motions unless you’re willing to jump in there and have some fun?

  • Damn it, I’m shy
  • Damn it, my nemesis is here too
  • Damn it, I’m busy

What can we do as creatives to facilitate creativity? People get uptight in the office like it’s a matter of life and death. We’re not trying to change the workplace, we came for the lulz. Historically the best way to unite people has been through ritual and sacrament. We all arrived at the office this morning; there’s our shared ritual. We are off to a promising start.

Build upon the ideas of others

MDMA (Ecstasy)


We didn’t come here to make friends, but as of right now, we’re best friends. Lets hug. Instead of sharing awkward personal experiences we’re going to play a game. The purpose of this game is to say something, anything, and put our words on a board where everyone else will see them. Stay on topic or don’t stay on topic – who cares? We’ll free associate and will keep attaching more words to the stuff we post on the board. We won’t erase anything. This is called building upon the ideas of others. Brainstorming is so frakking easy, and uh, I have a confession. It felt amazing when my hand brushed against yours – in a totally nonsexual way.

Be Prolific



Many brainstorming sessions suffer from self-censorship and a lack of ideas. That won’t be a problem for us. We’ve heard about comical meth lab mishaps in the godforsaken heart of America. We’ll rely instead upon Nazi inspired pharmaceutical grade meth, the same brand used by fighter pilots and world leaders. The session will run long since we’ll be wide awake for the next 48 hours. Staying focused on topic is one of the hallmarks of a successful brainstorm. Staying focused for 2 days without food or sleep is the hallmark of a successful meth binge. We will, however, need lots of space to write things down. We’ll probably write all that stuff really small, so there’s a forensic stage to consider when we feel human again. Where’s my passion? I just injected it into my arm. Where the hell is your passion? A spreadsheet? Yeah, whatever.

Be Visual and Encourage Wild Ideas



Maybe this project has reached the limits of what wordplay alone can provide. The spaces between the words, the relationships between things matter too. This is where an entheogenic substance like DMT can help. Every shambling horror lurking in the shadows can be embraced if each of us will simply hit this pipe. Twice. Thrice? Haha, no just kidding. Twice is great. Now we’re having mind shattering hallucinations and words fail entirely. Whatever else, we won’t allow ourselves to be seduced by astonishment. We are professionals damn it, and we’re here to work.  The machine elves have arrived and they are happy to help. They are explorers and builders of things just like we are.  Its unclear why their realm should resemble a starship, but that doesn’t matter. They recommend a software solution. Instead of writing your ideas down like an ape, try using Mindjet Mind Manager. This tool, with its hyperbolic branching idea nodes can practically do the brainstorming for us.

here is the mindmap I used to write this awesome post

here is the awesome mindmap I used to write this post

Defer Judgement



A good brainstorming session tries to maintain one conversation at a time, good booze does the opposite. Everybody will be talking loudly and all at once. That’s OK. We’re not expecting significant insights, we just need for this uptight group to loosen up so that during the golden moment – one I like to call “the perfect buzz” – conditions will be optimal to get on with the business at hand. Alcohol also impairs judgement, and this is a good thing. Successful brainstorming happens when participants are able to defer judgment. Great ideas usually sound stupid until they get a chance to breathe and expand. The advertising industry has long known this simple truth. Alcohol helps stupid ideas breathe.

*Disclaimer: If you show up to your next company brainstorm tripping balls and get fired, then find yourself in the desert two days later with a dead hooker, (or, you know, anything bad,) we take zero responsibility.

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One Comment

  1. Posted November 14, 2009 at 12:06 | Permalink

    Jesus christ, you’ve become a hippie. All right; all right. I agree strongly with the premise but have to really critically scrutinize the prescription for alcohol. It’s difficult to fully critique the notion overall because it’s you that wrote it – and there’s a built-in resistance in me to several aspects of the concept in general, but it all comes down to this (and this is what I beam to Anomologue, too, godfuckingdammit): I despise the archetypal “business” model and I think the people that create the environments in which it is practiced and selected for should actually die ~ though that’s extreme-seeming, it’s revealed to be proportionate when one considers the impact the legerdemain of “business” has had on history, I think. IF YOU ARE thinking of ways to ‘strengthen’ the business models of the future –

    stop it. You’re NOT helping. If you’re aware that you just want to clean up, then, awesome, go for it, and all my disapproval will matter nothing at all. If what you want includes other humans, though, then fucking STOP IT. Helping Them guarantees *more* pain, duress, deprivation, and death for *Us*. Spin it how you like. We, the chattel, are now looking to escape from Them, the evil drunk farmers. Figuring out how to make them solvent again? Fuck that.

    So; with that in mind, please edit your article and change the rankings: Alcohol and meth should occupy the top two slots, erase DMT and replace it with cocaine, and add “Firearms” to the list. Thank you in advance.

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