Ever wish you could touch something you saw on the Internet? Actually – don’t answer that. We all know. We all know. Anyway, haptics is a technology that lets you physically interface with digital information. It basically sucks still, but it’s – like everything except that stupid moon base – becoming a reality faster than anyone really thought it would. I can’t even remotely guess when it’ll be advanced enough to let you do something like, I duno, give a dinosaur an ear rub and be like all, “Oooh the soft downy dinosaur feathers – I must have a pillow stuffed with these!”, but the basics are almost there enough for something like long-distance surgery to start sounding totally plausible. I went ahead and ignored the current limitations for the purpose of making this blog entry more fun for myself. Enjoy:
1. Porn. Now that that’s out of the way…
2. Shopping. Yeah, that sweater looked great on the website – it even looked good on me. But it itched like an std from a mosquito when I finally got it in the mail and I couldn’t return it because it’s freezing outside and now I don’t have a sweater. Jerks. If only there had been some way to know it would be itchy beforehand…
3. Texturtizing. Now your brand has a texture! Who’ll try to copyright “warm and fluffy” first? …Probably T-mobile. That was a stupid question.
4. Puns. “Our new product rocks!” Ad feels like a rock. (Please never do this.)
5. Menus. Frak scrolling and pop-ups. I can just dig around in my virtual bag of holding for that +5 fire augment or whatever. Warm and hexagonal ftw.
6. Blind Internet. Refreshable braille displays can only go so far.
7. Texture tones. Like ring tones, only… textures.
8. Tagging. Imagine a Flickr-style tag on a photo that instead of saying some inane crap about the use of lighting, it feels like dewy flower petals.
9. Texturepedia. Ever wondered what the inside of your veins feel like?
10. The other kind of menus. On the nano-scale taste is really just texture – why not sample your meal before hand with a lick? Oh. Right. That.
11. Music. Music videos are so 20th century. I shouldn’t have to be on drugs to feel techno. Drugs are expensive.
Btw I learned about haptics on Singularity Hub. You guys rock. (rollover: igneous rock texture.)